Myself as a Mommy

The first time someone greeted me “Happy Mother’s Day!” I could not explain the feeling. I was 25, working, and get to see my little girl only on weekends. I was a week-end mom then. After my three-year contract with the bank, I decided to leave my job to focus on my family. That was one of the biggest decisions of my life: choosing family over my blossoming career.

Tomorrow is my second year as a mother. It has been three months since I became a full-time mom. I realized that being a mother is both difficult and fulfilling. There are times when I just want to cry because of frustration and anger. There are moments when I find myself looking for jobs or dreaming of being in law school. But whenever I see my baby smiling at me, whenever she hugs and kisses me, whenever she disturbs me with whatever I’m doing just to ask if we could play, I know that I’ve made the right choice.

Being a mother is the best job any woman could ever have. No monetary compensation can match the fulfillment one feels when you see your child walk for the first time, or when you hear her say “I love you Mommy,” or when you sit close to her as she learn her ABCs. I am always asking God to make me a good Mom, to make me become the best that I can be. I want my child and future children to grow up to become good individuals. I want to inspire them, I want to share them every beautiful thing in this world. I think that’s what every mom desires her children to be.

I am not very close to my mom. We don’t have heart-to-heart conversations. We never discussed feelings, boys, secrets. As I strive to further deepen my relationship with my mom, I am also striving to open me and my daughter’s communication lines. Every night, I always tell her how much I love her. I always share stories to her. Still at a very young age, I know she does not comprehend every word I say but I want to make it a habit to share almost everything to her.

I  still have a long way to go. And we (I and Melvin) are still experimenting with parenting. I always pray that God guides us in our parental duties so that we become good parents to Kaila (and our future kids) and that Kaila (and future kids) grow up to become good persons as well.

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Happy Mothers’ Day to my mommy and my nanay (melvin’s mom) and all the mothers in the world.

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