Super Moms

It’s difficult being a mom. And a wife. And a student. And a work-at-home mom. All at the same time. When I was younger, all I wanted was to have a nice home, have a family, be a housewife, take care of the kids, cook for them, take care of my husband. Now that I am older, I realized that it is difficult to be at home and do all these stuff. It’s hard to be a super mom.

I observe how my mother-in-law’s day passes by. She wakes at a 4am, cook breakfast for her grandson who will go to school and for us who will eat later. She eats breakfast around 6 am, then proceed with her chores, which include doing the laundry (using the automatic washing machine), cook lunch, sweep the floor, go to the market, sweep the floor, cook dinner. The chores are routinary, yet they are harder than it seems. It’s hard to think of what to cook for breakfast: hotdog, egg, tapa, sardines, what else? Then what about for lunch and dinner?

I told myself, kaya siguro di pa ko binibigyan ni Lord ng pampagawa ng bahay kasi di ko kayang gawin ang mommy-wife-housewife chores araw-araw.

My mom, on the other hand, is as busy as my mother-in-law. Although she has many assistant is her house, who cook, do the laundry, wash the dishes, and do all the dirty stuff, she still has to wake up early everyday to manage our bakery business. When all of us, her children, are at home, she’s the one who prepares the meals. She’s always in the kitchen, although there’s nothing really special to prepare. She wants to oversee everything else.

A part of me wishes that I’m like those “maswerte” wives who stay at home and take care of the kids, with yaya and cook to do the difficult jobs. When I want to go shopping, I can go shopping without having to worry about the chores or about something left undone.

But then, I realize that we cannot really have everything in life. The most important thing is to be happy with what is happening so that God will shower us with more blessings. If we are not happy with little things, do you think we can be happy with big things?

I still want to be a super mom. I want my child (and future children) to be proud of me every time they talk about me, that I am the best mom in the world. That despite life’s challenges, I always make them feel loved, that I am always by their side when they need me, that I am always present in the most memorable moments of their lives. I am proud of my two mothers, my mommy and my mother in law. I am lucky to have them in my life.

By wishful thinker Posted in family

options options

i think i’m giving up one of my clients (the one i ditched before) because my work schedule with this client is so demanding but his pay is very low. i’m just waiting for the response of my previous client, and then i’ll resign.

or should i be getting a real office job? there’s a loan officer vacancy in our place and i’m really considering my options. but with my midterm results out, i think i really have to devote more time to my studies. 😦 the three exams were disappointing. well i did pass the exams but the grades are still mediocre. come on self, i know you can do better than that!

Dealing with Tantrums

I always pray that Kaila grows up to be a good and obedient girl. The first time she showed signs of defiance, I used all the powers of the universe to be patient with her and to deal with her in the most democratic way that I could. But tantrums do happen, it cannot be prevented, and the most that parents can do is learn how to deal with their kids when they throw a tantrum.

Tantrums are emotional outbursts, oftentimes sudden, and typically characterized by stubbornness, screaming, defiance, or any form of resistance. They are common in kids between ages 1 – 3. Kids these age have very limited language so they cannot readily and adequately express their feelings. When they get frustrated over something, they are not yet able to control their emotions. So they throw a tantrum.

For parents like me, tantrum episodes are frustrating and embarrassing. They are like a test to your patience. They challenge your abilities as parents as to how much can you control your child. I have tried many ways on how to deal with Kaila’s tantrums. There are moments when I just had to spank her because there was nothing I could do. I regretted those moments because I did not want to do that in the first place. As a parent, as a mom, I should be more in control of my feelings. I should know better, right.

How do I deal with Kaila’s tantrums? Here are the strategies that I do.

  • I carry her inside the room. Many say you should place the child where he or she could be safe and then leave the child until he or she calms down. I do not leave her, for I read somewhere that this might come to a child as abandonment or something to that effect. I just sit quietly in one corner and wait until she calms down. 
  • After she calms down, I hug her and tell her that everything is okay. I talk to her and explain her what happened. I discuss about her behavior and tell her that I am not angry with her but with what she did.
  • In talking to Kaila, I tell describe what she did and then tell her that it is not the right way to express her feelings. I tell her that instead of shouting or crying, she should tell me or her Dad that she does not like what was being told her, or that she is angry, or that she wants to do something else.
  • According to some parents, it is not enough that you tell the child what to do. You also have to ask her what you just said in order for you to know that your child understood what you said.
  • I know when Kaila is about to throw a tantrum. When I see signs of it, I divert her attention to other things, like I invite her to come with me to read her book, or to ask her to help me to carry my bag.

When episodes like these happen, it is important for parents to keep their cool. I am guilty of this, especially when I am very occupied and then I suddenly hear her cry because her Dad does not want to give her the TV’s remote control or that her yaya refuses to play with her. What I do is I let a few minutes pass first, then approach her calmly, and then carry her to the room.

Most children grow out of the need for tantrums when they can express their feelings more and when finally understand that everything they do have consequences. However, I also know that how I deal with Kaila and her tantrums is very important so I make it a point that I deal with her in the most calm and democratic way that I can.

I’m Posting Every Week in 2011!

Every year, I always plan to write more. Well, rather than just planning to do it, I am joining this Post a Day/a Week campaign of wordpress. This may not be easy, since I always have a full-packed schedule (working 4 hours a day, studying, going to school, taking care of kaila, and grabbing much-needed sleep) but if I really want to improve my craft (and achieve the 40k income goal monthly), I need to continue writing and blogging at least once a week, right?

I hope to find time (I will find time) to write anything here. Hopefully, I can write something useful, entertaining, funny, or inspirational so that others will regularly come and visit my blog.

 

Xoxo,

Melodie

Buying Strategies for New Year

The holidays are over and if you are like me who bought all the holiday stuff using my credit card, it is time to pay the bills. Looking at my credit card statement revealed that most of what I spent in the last two months are groceries for holidays. Some of the stuff that I bought are still on the shelf, while the others, including the fruits on our table during New Year celebration, were either consumed or left in the fridge to rot.
Buying groceries can be an expensive proposition especially if you are like me who just go to the store and take the first item that I see on the shelf. Even though I would always tell myself to buy only what is needed, I always end up overbuying and overspending. Since it is New Year, one of the resolutions that I made involve this habit of mine to overspend. Here are my plans on how I will not end up overspending when I do grocery shopping:
  1. Do my homework. Before going to the supermarket, I should check the supplies cabinet and the fridge to determine the food and stuff that I need. Then, I will prepare a shopping list as to the things that I should buy and how many of them that I need.
  2. Go to the right store. There are various options available at our place as to where I will do my shopping: I can go to the market, to a local shop, or to a superstore. There are those that offer big discounts and excellent products. If I am not in a hurry, I should check out stores that offer the most affordable options and better quality products.
  3. Grab a bite first before going to the supermarket. Whenever my husband and I go to the grocery store, before we go home, we drop by those food carts and have some snacks. Thus, aside from what we spent on the groceries that we bought, we also end up spending on food to feed out hungry stomachs.
  4. Set limits. Aside from sticking on what I have listed down, it will also help my finances if I set a limit as to how much I would have to spend on groceries. This way, I can also eliminate items that I do not really need or check out other brands that are priced lower than what I am used to buy.
  5. Compare. In relation to setting limits, checking out similar products of various brands will also help me out in choosing which items to buy. I am not the type who scrutinizes the contents of a particular food or check out the prices of the same product categories. Taking a moment to compare the information of similar products will help me get the best value for my money.