Welcome Law School

I’m not yet enrolled but I passed the qualifying exam and interview. I will be enrolling on June 4 since I have to wait for the other possible scholars Yey, 50% off because I graduated cum laude in college.

I was actually unprepared when I took the exam, thinking that the exam would cover logic and the usual entrance exams. I was surprised when I read the essay questions (implication of this and that, my stand on this and that, and all those stuff). The questions reminded me of my journalism subject with Prof. Teodoro. haha.

I would have wanted to study in UP or San Beda or Ateneo but I did not take their entrance exams. I wanted Kaila to be with me but it was simply not possible. I checked UB’s passing rate in bar exams and ok naman, almost 100% passing rate since 1997.

So it’s really back to school for me after five years. I am pretty excited. Law on Mass Media was my favorite subject in college and Atty. Avecilla (sorry guys) was one of my favorite professors (because I was one of his favorite students and gave me 1.25 in the said subject). My sister’s back to school also for her Master’s Degree in Psychology while our youngest is now included in the employed statistics.

I am looking forward to law school and so many readings and recitations.

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End of quarter life crisis

The one-week hiatus means I have been very busy with all aspects of my life.

Apparently, my quarter life crisis is not yet over. Two Saturdays ago, I found out the SM Batangas is hiring for the Brand Officer position (marketing). Since I am still confused about what I am going to do with my life, I applied for the position. They called me up for interview (I was not surprised) last Thursday, May 20. I had two interviews that day and was supposed to go to another interview the following day, supposedly with the Brand Manager.

Guess what. I withdrew my application. My condition to work again is that they should pay me at least what BPI was paying me before I left the company. I had a hint that they would not give that. (“Ang laki naman ng hinihingi mo” was the comment of the HR Supervisor, though she said the HR Manager would discuss the salary details with me.) Next, the HR Supervisor explained to me that the job would entail me to work on weekends and on holidays. “Kaya mo bang magtrabaho pag holiday?” was what she asked me, to which I answered “Kakayanin ko po. It’s a big adjustment pero I believe kakayanin ko ‘yon.”

Apparently, I could not and would not work on holidays. So I withdrew my application.

Tomorrow, I will be applying in Law School at a university here in Batangas. I would have wanted to study in UP or San Beda, but I am not willing to give up the time that I am spending with Kaila. As Abbey always says, “why give up one, when you can have them both?”

Good luck to me. Hopefully, this ends my quarter life crisis.

Are you easily distracted when online?*

*from an e-mail sent by litemind

I do not usually read the e-mails coming from my subscriptions (why did I subscribe anyway?). But this morning, I received this e-mail from Litemind and got me really curious.

I am not a procrastinator but when I am online, I am usually distracted by almost anything that I see on my screen. I usually check out my gmail, then melvin’s yahoomail, then my facebook, twitter, wordpress, and tumbler. However, doing these stuff takes me at least an hour before I finally settle down to work. And yes, it often happens.

Fortunately, the site figured out that a lot of people are often caught in this situation. To solve the problem, the site created a webpage that I can use as my “start page” to remind myself of the things that I should be doing. I tried it today, and yes, it worked for me.

If you are like me, here’s the link that I got from litemind, which you can use yourself to avoid distractions while working. Here’s the link: http://litemind.com/on-task.html

Hope it works for you too!

Writing Tip: Write your title first

I am guilty with this one. Whenever my clients would ask me to write an article, the last thing that I do before submitting the article is to write my title. However, according to copyblogger.com, writing the headline first allows a writer to clearly express to the reader the possible benefits he or she would get by reading the whole piece. It is similar to making a promise to your readers. In the headline, you promise the audience that you will offer them something helpful, entertaining, or funny. Since it is a promise, it has to be made first before it can be fulfilled.

Another important thing about titles is that it serves as your guide when writing. Whenever I find myself engrossed with my article, I make it a point to look at my title to determine if I am still on the right track.

How about you, do you start your articles by writing the headline first, or are you like me who composes the body first before writing the title? (Not anymore for me. From now on, I promise to compose my title first before starting with my article.)

Letter to Self

Dear Emotional Self,

Eight days to go before your last chance to take the entrance to law school is over and still you have not made up your mind. This is your dream, right? Or maybe not. This is your Dad’s dream. You want to go to law school because someone, you want to make your Dad proud. After everything that you have gone through–taking up Journalism (which he did not want), working over continuing your studies, getting pregnant, getting married, resigning from your job–at the back of your mind, you still want to fulfill the lifelong dream of your Dad.

If you go to law school, what will happen?

You’re going to miss your child again. I know you hate that feeling. You have always wanted to become a hands-on Mommy to your child, one reason why you chose your family over your budding career.

You have to go through another four years of study, graduate, pass the bar exams, and work again. You do not want to work anymore right? Your favorite author, R. K., has greatly influenced you in your decision not to work again. From Quadrant E, you want to jump to Quadrant B and I. You know that you will never be rich if you stay on your job. You have to start a business and build empires.

What will you do know? You have eight days to decide. Again, you are stuck between two roads; which way would you choose?

Yours truly,

Your Thinking Self

Dealing with My Child’s Endless No’s

Along with aggression, my little girl has become obsessed with the word “No!” Whenever I ask her to do something, or whenever I would put on her diaper, she would not allow me to do so and instead do all sorts of things to avoid me.

With a little research, here are some strategies that I currently employ in order for her do what I want her to do:

  • Offer choices – I discovered that whenever I ask Kaila if she wants to eat, she answers back with a “No.” So what I did was to give her choices. When it is eating time, I ask her something like this, “Kaila, do you want some potatoes or papaya?” This way, I get to avoid hearing her refusal to eat.
  • Respond with amusement – This is my husband’s expertise. When Kaila does not want to cooperate, for instance she does not want to wear her clothes after her bath, my husband plays with her clothes. He would try on her clothes, she would laugh, and she would end up wearing her clothes.
  • Sing a song. It has always been a problem brushing Kaila’s teeth. One time, while we were watching her DVDs, we saw children brushing their teeth to the tune of “This is the way.” Every time I brush her teeth, we would sing that song together and she would let me brush her teeth.
  • Use some audience. Again, during our brushing time, I would ask her Dad or her Uncle to watch her while she is brushing her teeth. This has always been an effective strategy.
  • Look at her straight in the eye. When I am really serious, I ask her to look at me straight in the eye. This sends her my message that I really mean business.
  • Take turns. I allow Kaila to brush her teeth, put on her clothes, or eat by herself. When she is unable to do it, I show her how to do it.

When your kids begin expressing their independence, it pays to be creative in dealing with it rather than letting your temper get in the way.

Myself as a Mommy

The first time someone greeted me “Happy Mother’s Day!” I could not explain the feeling. I was 25, working, and get to see my little girl only on weekends. I was a week-end mom then. After my three-year contract with the bank, I decided to leave my job to focus on my family. That was one of the biggest decisions of my life: choosing family over my blossoming career.

Tomorrow is my second year as a mother. It has been three months since I became a full-time mom. I realized that being a mother is both difficult and fulfilling. There are times when I just want to cry because of frustration and anger. There are moments when I find myself looking for jobs or dreaming of being in law school. But whenever I see my baby smiling at me, whenever she hugs and kisses me, whenever she disturbs me with whatever I’m doing just to ask if we could play, I know that I’ve made the right choice.

Being a mother is the best job any woman could ever have. No monetary compensation can match the fulfillment one feels when you see your child walk for the first time, or when you hear her say “I love you Mommy,” or when you sit close to her as she learn her ABCs. I am always asking God to make me a good Mom, to make me become the best that I can be. I want my child and future children to grow up to become good individuals. I want to inspire them, I want to share them every beautiful thing in this world. I think that’s what every mom desires her children to be.

I am not very close to my mom. We don’t have heart-to-heart conversations. We never discussed feelings, boys, secrets. As I strive to further deepen my relationship with my mom, I am also striving to open me and my daughter’s communication lines. Every night, I always tell her how much I love her. I always share stories to her. Still at a very young age, I know she does not comprehend every word I say but I want to make it a habit to share almost everything to her.

I  still have a long way to go. And we (I and Melvin) are still experimenting with parenting. I always pray that God guides us in our parental duties so that we become good parents to Kaila (and our future kids) and that Kaila (and future kids) grow up to become good persons as well.

***

Happy Mothers’ Day to my mommy and my nanay (melvin’s mom) and all the mothers in the world.

Baby milestone: Aggression at 21 Months Old

I am often a victim of Kaila’s pinching and hitting. Being a short-tempered mother, I remember myself slapping my baby’s hands or getting angry every time she hit my face or pinch my arms.

Surprisingly for me, aggression is part of my child growing up. Aggression is my toddler’s way of expressing frustration over things that she cannot control. Since she has not fully developed her communication skills, she oftentimes get physical especially when she wants something or she is denied of something. Some say it’s a toddler’s way to express independence.

How am I dealing with this?

Patience is a virtue. Based on my experience, yelling or telling my child that she’s “bad” will not get her to follow my orders. Instead, I make her angrier and more riled up when I do that. Normally, I try to keep my cool, close my eyes, and stop myself from doing something that my child might imitate.

Comfort with discipline. Reasoning out with a toddler will not work. Rather than explaining to her the consequences of her actions, I comfort her first and make her feel that I understand what she is feeling. Oftentimes, she would not want conversations especially when she is angry but eventually, she learned that there is nothing she can do about it. I try to respond to her aggression just as I responded the last time that she had that episode. This way, I am able to build a pattern that my child recognizes so that every time she hits me or someone else, she knows what will be my response.

Talk and listen. The best way to deal with an angry child after calming her down is to talk. I explain to her what happened and ask her what she thinks and feels. (Yes, my 21-month old baby responds really well.)

It is really difficult to understand children. As a mother, I am still learning how to respond to her. There is still a lot to know. Being a mother is a work in progress.

The Hospital Experience

Got home yesterday from the hospital. It has been a really long weekend. It was my little girl’s first time to be hospitalized since I gave birth to her. I was really worried but at the same time proud of my little girl. She was indeed very brave.

Last Saturday, around 4:30 pm, her yaya brought her inside the house after trying to put her to sleep outside. After putting her down, she vomited lots of liquids. I thought she would be ok after that but the vomiting persisted nine times. We even brought her to a manghihilot since my mom said “baka nabati si kai.” The hilot did not work, we brought her to the nearby hospital because I was really worried about her. Also, she was already dehydrated since she her body was refusing to take in liquids. She would vomit after drinking water.

When the nurse inserted needle on her right hand, she cried and called me (Mommy Mommy). I soothed her, told her that she would be fine. She was very brave. She did not try to pull her hand from the nurse (who failed to find her vein the first time so he inserted the needle on the left hand instead); she did not even scream as what a 21-month old child would do.

We stayed for 3 nights and 3 days in the hospital. Those were the longest nights and days of my life. I was crying (when she and her Dad were asleep), I was praying, I was hurting. Ganon pala ang feeling na maging isang ina. Kung pwede lang na ikaw ang masaktan, ikaw ang magkasakit, ikaw ang kuhanan ng dugo instead of your child. Every time the doctor or the nurses would come in, Kaila would cry and I would soothe her and she would stop crying. Eventually, she became friends with the nurses. She got used to the nurses taking her temperature and fixing her dextrose. She never get used to the doctor though (who was not her pedia but a resident pedia of the nearby hospital). She has always been afraid of doctors ever since her pedia siphoned mucous out of her nostrils when she was a baby. (I usually talk her out when we visit her pedia–what her doctor would do, what she would expect, blah blah but it does not work. She still cried when her pedia taouches her.)

We had to ask the nurses to remove her dextrose on Monday night because she was really crying (“sakit! sakit!”). They said they would reinsert the needle on her right arm instead but we refused because she was already fine–she was already eating, no more fever, no more vomit. True enough, her left hand was already swollen after the nurse removed her dextrose. My poor baby.

She was fine the whole day (tuesday) so the doctor already signed the papers and we left the hospital. Getting out of that building was a relief. I never hated hospitals but I also never enjoyed being there. I never even dreamed of being a nurse or doctor. Bringing my child there was one of the worst feelings in the world.

Kaila’s ok already even though she still have rashes (sikal/tuko) and I still have to give her her meds every six hours. Good thing the medicine tasted good, like her favorite jelly ace. Last night I was able to lure her to take the meds without her crying. Though when I woke her up at 4am today, she cried and wouldn’t take her medicine.

I hope everything will be ok already. I usually stop Kaila from eating too much, or I sometimes would like to pinch or spank her for being so pilya, or I sometimes would find myself wanting to scream at her because she would not listen to what I say but I definitely prefer those days instead of those long weekends in the hospital.

Thank you Lord for keeping my child safe. I always pray that she stays healthy and safe. May You always guide and bless her. Please bless also all the children in the world.