I was looking at our (Melvin, Kaila and my) pictures during our Christmas holiday in Singapore. Suddenly I cried. I can’t help it. I miss my little girl and my husband so much. I always miss them. I always want to see them, hear their voices, be with them.

Whenever people ask me why I resigned from my job, I always tell them my situation. Some understand my decision; others would say I should have stayed with my job. I know what they mean. But whenever I see pictures of my family, whenever I think about them, I knew I made the right choice. They’re the most important possession I have right now and I would trade anything just to be with them.

I love them so.

***

I called the other branch this afternoon, wanting to talk to my manager, who’s relieving for an officer on leave. My good friend Ate Che answered the phone. I knew she was shocked. She didn’t expect me to call her branch. We have not yet talked since I told her that I resigned from the job. And I knew why, even if she didn’t tell me. Well, she already told me when we spoke. She would cry. According to he, matigas ang puso nya, at ako lang nakapagpaiyak sa kanya.

I’m so happy to have found a friend like her. I know it’s a friendship that’ll last a lifetime. I’m going to miss her.

***

I’m going to miss a lot of things.

City life, which I never enjoyed.
The millions of money that I count everyday.
My friends Ate Che, Ate Lenzy, Marj, Arghen, Sir Aldwin. Iris, Jenny, Allan, Sir Ron. Anjh. Jaymee.
Kuya Jojo, Manong Caloy and Kuya Erick, who have been very loyal and very dependable.
Having a place that I can call my own.
Privacy.
Sleeping alone.
Me time.
Robinsons. Powerbooks. Toys R Us. Nine West. Banana Leaf. Rustans.
Manila Astral Tower.
Clients. Clients who became friends. Client representatives. Clients who will never be my friend. Dra Padilla who said I’m her favorite. Dr. Vistal. Mr. Roh. Sir Glen. Manong Mon. Jayjay. Ate Raquel. Ate Alona. Ate Janet. Jena Almanzor. IWC. IMS. Medhaus. YWA. Ipams. Mam Lolly. Edna H. Everyone. Dr. Valderrama. Dr. Jimeno. Dr. Del Rosario. Kuya Abet. Sir Enrico. Carload. Just everyone. e. revatoris. atty. chavez. lawyers. feeling lawyers. feeling preferred clients. preferred clients. j hizon. gsp.
Being treated the way I am treated.
Shrimp roll. Garahe. Breakfast everyday prepared by Kuya Jojo.
Signing checks. Signing withdrawal slips. Armored Cars. Manager’s check. demand draft.
don santiago building. r. s. angeles. bp checks.
BPI Padre Faura, how may I help you? 5215127. 5224805. 5223428. 5221636.
my passwords. password please. buds. imns. technicalities. lotus notes. employee number 166594.
manap.
telephone numbers of clients that i already memorize.
gl reports. samba. overdrafts. dormant accounts. accountable forms.
vault combinations.
otp batch 85. abbey. ies.
old spaghetti house.
nu skin. kl. erwin. rona. hiyas. shin. yvonne. jonah. trafalgar. octagon. megamall. yoshinoya.
conversation about clients.
movie time. kainang busog na busog. dencios. mei-lin. banana cue.
sungit mode.
vito cruz. kenny rogers. lrt buendia.
high heeled shoes. long sleeved blouses. slacks.

I’m writing everything down. I don’t want to forget.

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Book 1: Her Fearful Symmetry

It was a fearfully sad book. The protagonist twin died; the older generation antagonist twin’s soul entered the younger twin’s dead body. Her lover, who was the reason why she chose to live again, left her after finishing his thesis.

It was a depressing book that I skipped most of the pages towards the end. I hate sad books, sad stories, sad endings. This book falls in those three. Audrey Niffeneger’s first book “The Time Traveler’s Wife” was sad but had a happy ending. This book is way different.

One star only. (I don’t even want to do a serious book review about it.)

On Anniversary

Our second year anniversary celebration was simply amazing. That was our first celebration together because he was in Singapore last year so we didn’t get to celebrate last year.

It was just a simple date but it was something that I imagined it to be. We went together to Rob’s Place, window shopped (I kept pulling him out of every store that he went to knowing that he’d surely buy something expensive for himself if found something that he liked.), ate at Almon Marina, then had a whole body massage at Annie’s. The massage was great. It was an hour of therapeutic rub yet I was really relaxed and rejuvenated.

Why was it amazing? For one, we don’t go out on dates like that. When we go out, we only eat at an ordinary restaurant then that’s it. Second, the massage is something we haven’t done before. Third, we simply enjoyed it.

Yey! More anniversaries to come! Thank you Lord for simple things like these. They mean a lot to me.

What I’ve Been Up to Lately

Melvin and I celebrated our seventh year as a couple yesterday. I was planning for a wonderful, romantic dinner at a restaurant in the nearby mall and then watch Avatar after. It did not push through. He came late so we just ended up having dinner at Kenny Rogers. I’m planning to cook up something for our second year wedidng anniversary next week.

I’m preparing a surprise birthday dinner for Mom on Saturday. She’s turning 57. I just want to make her feel special that day, thanks to my BDJ planner for the idea. (Side comment: I love that planner because it helps me track my goals. It also has a checklist on the 100 things that you might want to try this year. I’ve done three of them already: Go home early from work; buy one gadget I really covet and write your goals for the year. This weekend, I’m doing something special for my Mom and I might cook a mean pasta dish. That’s five already, 95 more to go. I’m planning to achieve at least 50 of those items. Yipee.)

I’m seriously writing–wedding articles for Wendi and classified ads article for Oliver David. It’s sad that Mustafa has no projects at the moment so that’s two ongoing projects for me. Quite a good start, to think that when I started freelancing, I also had two active projects. Hopefully, Wendz will have more clients so I can write more articles for her. I’m also hoping that Mr. David would like my writing style so that there would be more writing projects for me too. He already paid half of my bid requirement. I have to write three articles for him, due on Friday around 300 – 400 words. I can do it!

I will have another urinalysis tomorrow and then will visit again my doctor to find out whether my UTI’s cured already. I hope I’m already well. I’m a bit bothered that I urinate every 20 minutes. I noticed that just this morning. Also, I’m having back pains. I bought a liniment already for the back pains. I hope that my condition gets better. I hate being sick and drinking medicines. I will get better. I will get well.

Building empires

Today, I’m starting my writing project for Mike and Wendi. Last month, Wendz mentioned that she will be setting up a web-based company and asked Jeng and I if we would like to work for her web content writers. I remember joking ad told her, why not make us her business partners.

The project officially starts today and I really admire them both for starting their own company. Based on what I learned in my network marketing biz, the people who became rich are those who start out their own businesses.

This great leap from being content providers to buyers stirred my desire to start out a company of my own in the future.

Yes, someday I’ll build a company. An empire.

Fruitful, Healthy, Wealthy and Happy 2010

After recapping the year that was, here’s a list of what 2010 would befor me–the goals, the wish list, the plans, and everything else in between.

– I want to change career this year. In fact, I already took the first and second steps by resigning last January 11 and applying for online writing jobs. I want to go back to writing, be a full-time wife and mom and still earn P40,000.00 per month.

– I am targeting a seven-figure savings on our joint account. I already started savings last year and will continue to do so no matter what happens. Melvin promises to be diligent with his expenses this year. I still have doubts about this, being the spender that he is, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

– I’ll start the countdown to buy a 150 sq m lot (or larger) in Bauan Grand Villas. I told Melvin I want a house already by the time we’re three years into our marriage. This year is the second year of our marriage so we better start preparing for that dream house. The house will be two storey, with a library-cum-office for myself, den for our family get together, a garden that I will take care of and a garage for at least two vehicles. It will have four bedrooms, two tub&bath, a maid’s quarters and veranda on the second floor. I want my architect friend to design the house for me. I want it fully furnished, contemporary yet still very homey.

– For my fitness goals, I want to wear small size shirts again and weigh 45 kilos again. I will eat fruits and vegetables everyday. Will keep a daily diary on what nutritious food I ate or simple a food diary.

– I will learn how to cook–Filipino cuisine first, then Italian. (Since I’ll be home based!) I should learn to cook a hearty breakfast, lunch, merienda and dinner meals for the whole week (so that would equal to about at least 21 types of dish for Filipino cuisine) plus several variations of pasta dishes.

– Kaila and I will uindergo swimming lessons in Bert Lozada swimming school.

– Melvin and I will go on an out of town trip. This should be a yearly celebration–US time, only the two of us, for a week maybe. And I want it to be a family tradition, which we will always look forward to every year.

– Another out of town trip, this time, with Kaila. Hong Kong will be a good destination, though I doubt she will remember it when she grows up. (Childhood amnesia). I want to go to Subic or maybe somewhere south.

– I want to treat my whole family (Dad/Mom/Shara/Joemar) in an out of town trip, maybe in April in time for Joemar’s graduation. We don’t go out of town. It has never been a family affair but I want to intriduce it to our family this year.

– I want to organize a family reunion, I’m thinking to do it on my Mom’s birthday but it may be too soon. My siblings will be the one to cook the meals, but our relatives will also bring their share. Create a program for that. There will be games and prizes too.

– Organize high school reunion on December 2010.

– Read at least 50 books this year and write reviews about each.

– Be a positive person. Create a daily gratitude list. List down that everyday, simple things that make me happy. Faithfully keep a journal.

– Learn to be patient. Learn to keep my temper.

– Talk with Melvin often. Say what I feel.

– Talk with Mom and Dad. Heart to heart conversations. Talk with Joemar and Shara about life. Build a strong family relationship.

– Watch at least 20 movies at the Cinema.

– Wake up and get up from bed before 7 am. Sleep before 12 midnight. Try to have at least 7 hours of sleep.

– Drink lots of water. Cut down on soft drinks. And iced coffee.

– Cut down on sugar, sweets, chocolates.

– Aside from swimming, take up a sporty hobby and stick to it!

– Renew my faith. Talk to God. Go to church. Pray the rosary.

I plan to make 2010 and 26th year a very memorable, fruitful, happy, healthy and wealthy year

2009 Recap

It’s never too late to recap my 2009. Got the q’s from Kate’s blog.

What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Joined a network marketing company. The network marketing business was the highlight of my 25th year. I always had a misconception about networking but when I joined the company, my perspective changed. A lot of changes actually happened because of this—I learned how to get out of my comfort zone, I became more confident and comfortable talking to people, I met new friends, I started writing my goals, and I became more serious in handling our finances. Because of this business, I started reading Robert Kiyosaki and John Maxwell.

Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I made resolutions but only for the sake of making them. Yes, this time, I will make resolutions and seriously make efforts to meet them.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

None. 2008 was the year of weddings and babies for my kin.

Did anyone close to you die?

None, thank God I still have all of my loves.

What countries did you visit?

Kaila and I visited Singapore for a week during the last week of December.

What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

I want to have more time for Kaila and Melvin, more time to read books, more time to watch TV, more time to talk with friends, more time to make money. I also want to have more money to keep. I love to see our bank account grow from six digits to seven digits.

What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Anniversary dates and birthdays of my loved ones will always be remembered.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Melvin and I ended with a clean slate in terms of our debts, save for a few thousands for credit card bills.

What was your biggest failure?

I took time off from the network marketing business. It was painful to end it but I realized that it’s not yet the right timing for me.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

I suffered from minor flu in the middle of the year.

What was the best thing you bought?

I didn’t buy anything big for myself, but my husband bought me my Macbook Pro.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

I can’t think of anyone who did anything extraordinary last year. On the second thought, it’s my parents who are seriously making effort to save up for their old age.

Close runner-ups: Melvin who has been very patient with Kaila and myself. Also Hazel, who tries to make her 25th year the best year of her life.

Whose behavior appalled you and made you depressed?

It was Joala. I was really disappointed with her and her decisions.

Where did most of your money go?

Paying debts, Kaila’s educational plans (I got her an educational plan for high school), network marketing business.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Books. I have always been excited about books—buying them and reading them.

What song/s will always remind you of 2009?

Nobody, I Got the Feeling, The Climb

Compared to this time last year, are you:

a. Happier or sadder? Happier I think

b. Thinner or fatter? Fatter

c. Richer or poorer? Richer

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Getting enough sleep and watch more TVs and watch more movies

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Contemplating over things, people and circumstances I cannot change.

How will you be spending Christmas?

Spent it with Kaila and Melvin as I have always wanted. Wished the celebration was grander and more meaningful.

Did you fall in love in 2009?

Over and over again with Melvin

What was your favorite TV program?

Didn’t get to watch TV except for Grey’s Anatomy

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Not really hate, more of annoyed. But I’m learning not to get so serious with things like this.

What was the best book you read?

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

What was your greatest musical discovery?

I’m not so into music, but I kept on repeating Taylor Swift’s You Belong With Me.

What did you want and get?

Books. Macbook. Belle de Jour 2010. Family getaway.

What did you want and not get?

The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. 150 sq m (or larger) lot in Grand Villas. Ruby-ship by December 2009.

Favorite film of this year?

Only watched a few movies this year. 2012.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I wanted my 25th birthday to be extra special and memorable. Unfortunately, I remember myself crying on my birthday.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

It was a pretty satisfactory year.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Still the same after so many years.

What kept you sane?

Kaila. Melvin. Books. Food.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

None

What political issue stirred you the most?

The Maguindanao massacre.
The series of calamities.
The 2010 elections.

Who did you miss?

Kaila and Melvin.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

Be clear about what you really want in your life. Write your goals. Read about them often. Want it so badly. Take action.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Chorus of “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus

The most touching experience you’ve had this year?

Kaila and Melvin in Singapore

What did you like most about yourself this year?

My desire to reach my dreams.

What did you hate most about yourself this year?

Still the same impatient, temperamental me.

Was 2009 a good year for you?

Not so outstanding and memorable but still a good year I guess.

Decision made!

Now that I finally decided to resign, I am having second thoughts whether to submit my resignation letter or not. What am I worried about? The thought of losing job security. Surviving an unpredictable job. What if I don’t make it? What if we don’t make it? But Wendi and Leonor are surviving. I may not be as good as they are when it comes to writing but I know I will improve. And thinking about Kaila, about being able to watch her grow up, being able to guide her in every step of the way, thinking about the support of my husband, I know that I am making the right decision.